Humor Feed

Tax working out this week in front of Churchill Downs' iconic Twin Spires. (Photo courtesy @DeanDorton via Twitter) The first time I bet on a horse I was just 9. My family was vacationing in Ruidoso, New Mexico, and my dad put $2 on the quarter horse I selected the day we visited Ruidoso Downs. I can't remember why I chose that horse in that race, but I do remember it won. I also remember the last time I bet on a horse. It didn't win, but I do remember why I picked it. It had the same name as... Read more →


You didn't file your taxes by the April deadline but you had a really good reason. Or did you? Excuses people make for not filing their taxes are right up there with rationalizations for claiming weird deductions. Both are creative exercises par excellence. And both will get you in bit trouble with the Internal Revenue Service. What won't fly: The Internal Revenue Code as we know it has been around since 1913. That means that for more than a century, Uncle Sam has heard just about every excuse for not getting a Form 1040 in on time or at all.... Read more →


Hey, Uncle Sam, one of the funniest actresses out there is not feeling very cheerful right now and it's your fault. Tiffany Haddish is looking for a little gratitude from your tax collector. In a recent Instagram video, the award-winning star of the just-released "Night School" asked the Internal Revenue Service why, even though she pays her taxes "on time every year all the time," she never gets any thanks for her efforts. She doesn't let her state tax officials, the California State Franchise Tax Board, off the hook either for their similar lack of tax love. Shout outs all... Read more →


Scott Foster, accountant by day and emergency NHL goalie for one night, makes a save in the Chicago Blackhawks win March 29 over the Winnipeg Jets. Accountants know all about pressure, especially during tax season. But Scott Foster, a Chicago-area numbers cruncher, last night ably handled even more, albeit a different kind of, stress. Foster faced, and bested, some of the National Hockey League's best. Injuries lead to NHL debut: A series of injuries forced Foster to suit up and step into the goal crease for the final 14 minutes of the Chicago Blackhawks March 29 game against the Winnipeg... Read more →


You open the package expecting, well you don't know what, but probably not 500 cockroaches. That, however, is what happened to a mail thief. Crooks will steal just about anything. And criminals who focus on U.S. Post Office boxes tend to increase their activity around this time every year. The reason? Tax refunds. Tax-related mail theft: Every February, people are either getting refund checks from the U.S. Treasury or they're receiving tax documents they can use to file their annual federal and state returns. Either option is a crook's dream. The checks can be cashed. The tax statements' info can... Read more →


Happy World Emoji Day! It's held on July 17 each year as a way to promote the use of emojis — like we need to do that! — and, according to Emojipedia (really!), spread the enjoyment that the colorful icons bring. The enjoyment goal got me thinking of how emojis might make one of our worst tax tasks more pleasant. I'm talking, of course, about our annual filing of returns. Most of us already use tax software. Surely it wouldn't be that difficult to incorporate the option of adding emojis to the lines we fill electronically complete. Dressing up your... Read more →


Some folks didn't file their federal taxes on April 18. Judging from social media, much of the deadline busting was the fault of cats. "Can't claim my cats as dependents? Well I can't file then," Tweeted @deedles420. Sorry, Dee, but while a dependent doesn't have to be a blood relative, your fur babies don't pass tax muster. Dee was not alone. The Twitter hashtag #ExcusesForNotFilingTaxes underscored the internet's reputation as cat loving and apparently tax hating. "Still waiting for cats' social security numbers," Tweeted @growingupZee. Good point, Zee, since those nine official digits from the Social Security Administration are key... Read more →


Click image to watch Stephen Colbert's character Otto Sanchez "advise" H&R Block customers. Stephen Colbert has assumed a variety of personas during his comic career. On his April 5 CBS late night show a new, sort of tax-focused character appeared. Hello Otto Sanchez, hoax H&R Block tax professional. As the company itself asked on its Facebook page, what could go wrong? Plenty. From singed and mistakenly shredded tax documents to an impromptu serenade to beer during the consultation, three customers of the country's largest franchised tax preparation service were amazingly good-natured victims of Colbert's skewed tax humor. I hope the... Read more →


How's your holiday shopping going? If you're still looking for something to impress your true love, consider giving a gift inspired by the classic "12 Days of Christmas." For the 33rd year, the PNC Financial Services Group has analyzed the lengthy Christmas gift list from the song and determined, in its specially devised Christmas Price Index (CPI), just how much the prices have changed from year to year. Poultry prices aren't paltry: Overall, the cost of the song's gifts grew only slightly this year. But be prepared to pay a hefty prices if you opt for a few of the... Read more →


In 1994, Buck Showalter, current Baltimore Orioles (Go Birds!) manager but back then manager of the New York Yankees, had a small role in an episode of Seinfeld. Fans of the show about nothing might remember that this particular episode was, in part, about the Bronx Bombers uniforms. Orioles' manager Buck Showalter talks with MLB Network about his 1994 "Seinfeld" appearance and its tax ramifications. Click image to watch the full clip. Today on MLB Network's broadcast from Major League Baseball's winter meetings in National Harbor, Maryland, outside of Washington, D.C., the ebullient Showalter talked about his brief TV career... Read more →


Halloween is a big deal for a lot of folks. I like the holiday, but don't go as crazy as some of my neighbors. Houses are decorated and adults dress up more elaborately than their trick or treating kids. I'm not sure I'd go to this house seeking treats! The hubby and I simply sit on our porch and hand out candy, particularly enjoying the youngest ghouls and goblins for whom this is the first Oct. 31 where they realize they're getting way more candy than they've ever seen before. Candy calculations: I try to estimate the optimal amount of... Read more →


For the last five years, I've been regularly grocery shopping with my mother. She's a retiree on a fixed income, so much of our time is spent examining shelf prices, determining which size offers the best per-unit value and debating whether it's worth a few more pennies to get something she knows she likes or save cents by buying a cheaper, but untried store brand. Source: TastefullyOffensive.com from YouTube Now I guess we need to start double checking the register receipts to make sure our savings aren't negated by improper tax charges. That's what some Garden State shoppers say they... Read more →


The third and final presidential debate is tonight in Las Vegas, and it's a sure bet that most Americans will be delighted when this portion of the 2016 campaign is over. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will face off Oct. 19 on a stage at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, with Fox News' Chris Wallace moderating. The previous face-to-face encounters between Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican hopeful Donald J. Trump have been awkward, frustrating and annoying, and I'm just talking about the reactions of viewers! The debates also have been woefully short on policy specifics, especially taxes. But... Read more →


Forget all those disparate and confusing presidential election polls, online and more scientific. The Washington Redskins have decided who will be moving into the White House next year and the team has chosen Hillary Clinton. Washington Redskins defensive Chris Baker leads fans at FedExField in celebrating the home team's 27-20 win over the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, Oct. 16. Click image to watch the full NFL game highlights package on YouTube. (And yes, I selected this screenshot because it promos the Dallas Cowboys game!) Players and coaches of the National Capital Area's National Football League team didn't actually vote. But... Read more →


Sports fans tend to be, well, fanatic. To many, it's what a player does during the game, not his or her off-field antics that matter. Moment of the Champions League final with FC Barcelona's Leo Messi, left, going against Patrice Evra of Juventus at Olympiastadion in Berlin on June 6, 2015. (Photo by Biser Todorov via Wikimedia Commons) That kind of no-questions-asked support was what the Barcelona football -- or soccer, as most Americans call the sport -- team was counting on in the wake of its star player's tax evasion conviction. Public outreach, tax backlash: Last week after Lionel... Read more →


It's been a crazy weekend, with much of Sunday spent with my mom, who's a major golf fan, and not a bad player herself when she was younger. She still has her hole-in-one trophy. Since I spent most of the day at my mother's, I didn't get around to blogging today. But because part of our conversation between lunch and pedicures and shopping (both for clothes and food) was about Brexit and the U.S. presidential election and, of course, how they converged at Donald Trump's renovated Turnberry, Scotland, golf course and resort, the following tax-related golf quip seemed an appropriate... Read more →


It's National Flip Flop Day. Or flip-flop if you're into hyphenates. Or thong, which is what we called these sandals when I was a kid, way before the revealing and seemingly uncomfortable swimsuits of that name were invented, or at least known in my small West Texas hometown. Political flipping, flopping, flailing: Flip flopping also is associated with politicians, as in reversing positions on issues, either strategically or by mistake or …. A recent example is the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. Donald Trump seems to say something outrageous every day. But for purposes of the ol' blog on Flip Flop... Read more →


Here's a tax-related travel tip. Mail your return before you head out to your favorite festival. Some of the attendees of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival's opening weekend, April 15-17, tried to fulfill their tax-filing duties. Unfortunately for them, the Coachella campground's post office is not a full-service facility. Instead, the small operation is more of an intermediary between festival-goers and the real local post office in Indio, California, proper. The temporary Coachella post office this year is housed in a life-sized version of a Lincoln Log cabin, according to The Orange County Register. It was put together,... Read more →


This post was updated Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2017 Fake news. Alternative facts. We've all grown familiar with, and perhaps a big inured to, such phrases of late. Spinning language is something politicians have done for, well, forever. And it's not limited to just news. At tax time we hear a lot of things, especially on the internet, that we hope will help us make wise decisions when we file our taxes. But some of it is wrong. To fight this trend of alternative, fake tax facts, as well as brighten up your day a bit, I thought you might enjoy... Read more →


"Millions flee Georgia for the safety of North Carolina's bathrooms," quipped New Yorker columnist Andy Borowitz after the Tar Heel State's governor signed into a law a measure that, among other things, revokes local protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people. The part of the bill that's gotten most attention is, as Borowitz notes, the one that requires transgender people to use the bathroom corresponding with the gender they were born with rather than the one they identify with. North Carolina is the first state to require this. Last year, Houston, Texas, passed a similar law for facilities... Read more →