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On my way home

Letterman's Top Ten Budget Surprises

No, not Dave's personal budget. Not even the money allocated for his Late Show program.

We're talking the fiscal 2011 U.S. budget that Obama released this week.

I looked at some of the tax provisions in the prez's financial wish list for the country. But leave it to Letterman to find some things in the 192-page document that I missed.

So in case you didn't catch Dave's reading of revelations on Monday night, here are his Top Ten Surprises In The $3.8 Trillion Federal Budget:

10.  3.5 trillion dollars given to committee fighting overspending

  9.  President now has to pay $25 for each bag he brings aboard Air Force One  

  8.  Cut NASA budget so much, next mission is to New Haven, Connecticut

  7.  Estimate does not include convenience fee of $3.95  

  6.  Government is raising the money by sending out a drunk Rip Torn to rob banks

  5.  United States pays for Ahmadinejad's tan windbreakers

  4.  It allocates five billion dollars for a giant wallet to hold all money

  3.  Don't tell him, it's a surprise, but McCain's getting a new Craftmatic adjustable bed

  2.  One billion dollars research grant to figure out what the hell iPad does

And the number one surprise in the $3.8 trillion federal budget -- 

  1.  The naked centerfold of senator-elect Scott Brown.

Ewwww! I certainly am glad I missed that!

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